Well we’re a week into the season and just like we all expected, the Rockies are tied to the lead in the NL West, the Cubs are atop the standings in the Central, and the Mets have the best winning percentage in baseball. I definitely expect all of these things to remain true through to the postseason, for sure.
But hey that’s the beauty of sport, right? We get to watch everybody play 155-some odd more games to show us all their true talent levels. And have some fun along the way.
Well Okay, Pache
We’ve covered inside-the-park homers in this column before, but I’ve noted that it kind of always makes me feel bad because we’re usually in a roundabout way celebrating somebody misplaying the ball. Usually, it’s at least a heroic leaping try at the wall though. Not this time. Yesterday in Tampa, Cristian Pache grabbed himself a four-bagger on a ground ball up the middle.
It did, of course, involve more than one misplay, but Pache also rounded the bases in under 16 seconds, which is a wildly impressive time given the overall MLB average time to first base is over four seconds.
The @Athletics' Cristian Pache uses his 70-grade speed to circle the bases in 15.90 seconds — the fastest trip around the diamond this year! pic.twitter.com/BHlsvVPDQU
— MLB Pipeline (@MLBPipeline) April 14, 2022
I need to take a breather just watching it.
Have You Heard They Call It The Windy City?
The Pache HR is probably something you’ve already heard about, but jokes about how windy Chicago is are definitely the most well-trod ground here. But I’m gonna keep on troddin’ it because well…it was really windy there yesterday afternoon. The White Sox were down 2-0, but cut the deficit down to just a single run on a pair of the most improbable balls in play you’ll see:
they do call it the windy city pic.twitter.com/5rYuzczcNc
— Cut4 (@Cut4) April 14, 2022
Specifically, it was a pair of balls with a combined xBA of .005, and an average launch angle of 75 degrees.
Infield pop-ups aren’t supposed to be that hard!
We Hit Paywater!
While Linka was busy using her planeteer powers for chaos in Chicago, Gi was down in Winston-Salem, NC goofin’ around with the grounds crew.
IN THE FACE
(via @Jake_Baldini14) pic.twitter.com/rgO5mgMKSs
— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) April 14, 2022
There’s a lot to take in here given it’s a mere 20-second clip. First, the way the dude takes a high-pressure water line directly to the face? Honestly impressive, that can’t feel good. Then you notice the completely nonplussed reaction from the duo putting down the lines around home plate, to the point where I have to assume that not only is this not the first time this fella has made this mistake, but moreover that it may not be the first time that afternoon. And finally, you have the soggy crewmember’s partner sliding into the frame in a true superhero move and immediately get the situation under control.
Which, come to think of it, just makes it even more likely that this happens more often than we may think. Either way here’s to grounds crews, the unsung heroes of baseball.
Anti-Running Running Club
Yesterday’s slate offered us the opportunity to uh, admire the running game of two of the game’s elder statesmen, although with quite different outcomes.
In Milwuakee at the Brewers’ home opener, Albert Pujols decided that having 2nd percentile speed was no reason not to steal third when the opportunity presented itself:
They caught Albert Pujols, the fastest man alive STEALING 👀🏃👮🙅♂️ pic.twitter.com/18MeK5R0Xc
— Baseball Doesn't Exist (@BaseballDoesnt) April 14, 2022
I…was truly in awe watching this unfold in real-time. But at the same time, this very basic caught stealing is actually kind of historic:
Albert Pujols has been caught stealing for the 1st time since 2015.
— Alex Fast (@AlexFast8) April 14, 2022
When you put it that way, it seems much cooler.
Meanwhile, in Kansas City, Miguel Cabrera was showing off what 2nd percentile sprint speed is really capable of!
THAT'S WHAT SPEED DO 🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/wyLBqHjZ1Y
— Detroit Tigers (@tigers) April 15, 2022
Look at that slide! And that strut! Can there be any doubt that El Mago’s hand is at work here teaching his Tiger teammates the true secrets of success?
2-1 Count At First Base
And now, because I am both a child and Homer Simpson, please enjoy this video titled “Man Getting Hit By Baseball”
This brings new meaning to the term “down the dick” @PitchingNinja.
— Sportsbook Review (@SBRReview) April 15, 2022
There’s an honestly impressive amount of miscommunication as JT Brubaker turns to absolutely rifle a pickoff throw that Yoshi Tsutsugo apparently has no idea is coming, and Alcides Escobar pays the price. I also deeply appreciate him motioning to the umpire that he’s OK as he’s in the act of falling over. But everybody ends up laughing so no harm, no foul at the end of the day. Now give that man his $10,000!