You know who has been a major disappointment to start the season? Patrick Corbin, who put up a line of 5.2 IP, 7 ER, 7 Hits, 5 BBs, 2 Ks tonight against the Cards, including a bases-loaded triple from opposing pitcher Adam Wainwright. Jeez, that’s got to hurt. What hurts more is realizing that Corbin holds just a 5.46 K/9 through five starts with a 4.45 xFIP. Yikes, even Jered Weaver holds a better strikeout rate…Just playing, Weaver’s even worse and holds a 4.24 K/9. But this isn’t about the worst pitchers in the majors, nay! This is about what you should do with Corbin. And what you should do is hold. Yeah, I know how crazy that sounds with those numbers I just told you about, but Corbin has faced the Cardinals, Rockies, Pirates, and Dodgers, with his only good start being against the Padres. Guess who his next two opponents are? The Marlins and Braves. I want him for those starts, and if he’s still flustering after that, then yeah, we’re in some deep trouble. I have a feeling we won’t have that conversation which would be as awkward as having that weird unmarried uncle give you the birds and the bees conversation. It’s like he’s trying to gauge whether he understands what he’s saying or not. Corbin has good enough stuff to recover like Chris Archer and Matt Harvey have, and I think we’ll see it shortly.
Let’s see what every other SP did yesterday:
Jeremy Hellickson – 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 3 BBs, 8 Ks. Okay y’all, I know I’m getting a little delirious tonight in this article because it is waaaay too late, but guess what! No amount of delirium will make me endorse Hellickson. Don’t do it fellas, seriously. This guy is the Devil. He seduces you to let him into your village then BAM it’s all up in flames the next day.
Chris Tillman – 6.2 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 2 BBs, 9 Ks. You can’ spell Win with Til— alright, alright, I’ll give it a rest today. I know there are Tillman lovers out there who think he can put it together for some solid stretches here and there, and you are somewhat right. The problem is that he can burn you and burn you hard while these kind of starts are few and really, really far between.
Justin Nicolino – 7.1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 2 BBs, 2 Ks. If only Nicolino had generated two more outs, he would have earned the lowest MS Score of the season of 6. But in things that actually matter, you’ll take this from Nico, even if the Ks are less exciting than watching paint.. …Watching paint dry? Nah, just watching paint. It just doesn’t do anything.
Jose Quintana – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 4 Hits, 3 BBs, 10 Ks. He’s the gift that doesn’t stop giving. To the Top 25 you go! Seriously, someone give me a reason not to.
Steven Wright – 7.0 IP, 1 ER, 3 Hits, 3 BBs, 8 Ks. Wright told me he can do this every single start. Yeah, Wright. Don’t trust a knuckleballer.
Matt Moore – 7.0 IP, 3 ER, 3 Hits, 2 BBs, 9 Ks. This is going to be one interesting year for Moore. He will put up starts like these, then come back at you with 4 ER, 4 BBs, 5 Ks in the next one. If that’s your kind of thing, then go for it.
Gio Gonzalez – 6.1 IP, 1 ER, 5 Hits, 3 BBs, 5 Ks. The walks are coming back and Ks are falling down. Keep in mind, this was against the Phillies y’all. But fine, I will concede that Gio is looking a bit better than his previous years’ iterations. Does that mean I suddenly am propelling him to Top 40? Sure doesn’t, Bob. Sure doesn’t.
Marco Estrada – 6.2 IP, 3 ER, 3 Hits, 4 BBs, 5 Ks. This has Blegh written all over it despite the near 1.00 WHIP. I just don’t trust Estrada at all.
Matt Harvey – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 7 Hits, 1 BBs, 7 Ks. See guys? There is nothing to worry about when it comes to Harvey. Sure, he’s been a little Two-Faced so far, but you’ll forget about that Dent in April before long.
Justin Verlander – 6.1 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 2 BBs, 6 Ks. Ehhhh he only allowed 1 ER and 2 Hits through six innings before allowing a pair of doubles and a single, resulting in two more ER to the books. But that’s not a real excuse since this is Oakland we’re talking about. I see Verlander hovering around #30 all year, and that’s alright with me.
Scott Kazmir – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 7 Hits, 1 BBs, 6 Ks. Look at Kaz rebounding! And guess what! WHAT?! He gets the Rays followed by the Mets next. SIGN ME UP.
Chris Young – 5.1 IP, 3 ER, 3 Hits, 2 BBs, 6 Ks. Here in the things I don’t have faith in: My milk not spoiling before the expiration date, new pencils to have erasers that work properly, Chris Young throwing at least 6 Ks and not killing my WHIP/ERA. It’s a short list.
Martin Perez – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 3 Ks. Is Perez turning into a Toby? Nah, this is one of his better starts, not a standard.
CC Sabathia – 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 3 BBs, 5 Ks. If you’re rostering Sabathia, it’s time to go on a Sabathical.
Collin McHugh – 5.0 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 3 Ks. I’ve said it pretty much every time I see McHugh here, but I won’t trust him until his Slider looks like its 2014 self. It’s that simple.
Jon Moscot – 5.0 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 4 BBs, 2 Ks. Ohhhhh Moscot. Don’t have a last name spelled like that. Now all I’m thinking about is dozing in a cot…in the shade of two trees…feeling great about never rostering you on my team…
Nick Tropeano – 5.1 IP, 2 ER, 8 Hits, 2 BBs, 6 Ks. For those wondering, the fun times we had with Trop are pretty much at an end. Use him as an occasional streamer, but I think he’s a pretty average pitcher overall.
Adam Wainwright – 5.1 IP, 4 ER, 7 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. You were supposed to cut bait after his meh outing against the Padres. But hey, he did something right today! Yeah?! Was his Fastball looking great again?! What? No. He hit that aforementioned 3-RBI triple! Oh…
Josh Tomlin – 5.1 IP, 4 ER, 6 Hits, 1 BBs, 1 Ks. Just one strikeout against the Twins? Yeaaahhh, time to let Tomlin hang out with Bunk on the wire.
Hisashi Iwakuma – 5.0 IP, 5 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 7 Ks. I so badly feel that Iwakuma will turn it around this season, but it’s getting harder and harder to believe. I want to believe. I hope you find that image I just whipped up for you guys as beautiful as I do, I spent a good 2 minutes in MS Paint for y’all.
Sonny Gray – 2.0 IP, 4 ER, 2 Hits, 4 BBs, 2 Ks. Maybe I shouldn’t have placed Gray in the Top 25…nah, he’s better than this. Don’t do anything silly. Like staying up this late to write this article. Definitely shouldn’t have done that.
Jose Berrios – 4.0 IP, 5 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. On that note, why is this article coming out so late tonight? Because I just spent ages writing near 1,500 words for Berrios’ GIF Breakdown that I’ll be posting in the morning. In short: don’t drop Berrios, there was a lot to like about this start. His command was in question – could easily have been MBL Debut jitters – and he was left in too long when he was obviously gassed, allowing an extra 3 ER in the 5th. He’s got Top 35 upside so don’t cut bait fellas.
Andrew Cashner – 2.2 IP, 3 ER, 4 Hits, 4 BBs, 2 Ks. What’s the phrase I have for Cashner? Psych! I remember it because I’ve been saying it every time for the past year or so since he shouldn’t be on your roster. Cashed Out.
Jon Niese – 5.0 IP, 5 ER, 10 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. You know what’s entertaining? The Rockies announcers talking about how Niese had been this unsung hero of the Mets pitching staff for years just moments before he put up a crooked 4 spot in the third inning. Good times. Anyway, Niese’s days of not giving you painful starts are generally over, and since I’m not a masochist, I’m staying away.
Jon Gray – 3.2 IP, 6 ER, 9 Hits, 1 BBs, 2 Ks. Gray has limited upside, pitches his home games at Coors Field, and doesn’t deserve a spot on your team. This should be the blurb for every Colorado starter.
Bud Norris – 1.1 IP, 6 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 0 Ks. It’s time to have a little fun here with the SP Roundup. Yeah, all of that other stuff above isn’t fun, like at all. Nah, the fun stuff is here where we’re going to figure out the Anti-List – Ranking The 10 Worst Starting Pitchers. I’m curious who you guys would stick inside that list, and please let me know in the comments who would be inside of yours. For clarification, they must have a regular job inside a team’s rotation, no 6th men here. To get things rolling, Nud Borris here mixed with Alfredo Simon and Wily Peralta are no-doubters, and I’d imagine Jeff Locke, Jered Weaver, and pretty much any Colorado Pitcher would be there as well.
Tanner Roark vs. Philadelphia Phillies – I can’t believe I’m actually endorsing Roark, but it’s either a guy who just struck out 15 batters and now faces another poor offensive ballclub or relying on Anibal Sanchez to not continue his painful struggles as he faces the Athletics. Give me the strikeout anomaly guy.
Adam Conley vs. Milwaukee Brewers – It would be really fun to suggest Sean Manaea or Michael Fulmer, though prospects are often pulled a little early in their debuts, and who knows if there will be some jitters for these guys in their first start. Seriously though, this week has been insane with the pitching prospects. I can’t hold all of these pitching prospects. Meanwhile, Conley has the K upside with his heater to give us a great performance against the Brewers.