Let’s roleplay for a second and please not with those late night costumes. It’s 2 a.m.–are you sure no late night costumes? Dude, no. Anyway it’s 2 a.m. over the weekend and you’re in desperate need to pick up another guy for your playoff matchup when you see that Vidal Nuno went 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hits, 2 BBs, 10 Ks in his last start. “HOT DAMN,” you think. “Just what I needed!” as you decided to quote The Cars. Not the Staples commercial jingle? That’s the same song, I wanted to imagine you random people as cultured. Anyway, I wanted to get a chance to warn you fellas before taking the dive into the Nuno abyss. Why? Because Nuno is most likely returning to the bullpen as James Paxton returns this weekend. But let’s imagine that he gets a few more chances in the Seattle staff. In his six starts this year, he’s allowed at least 4 ER twice, and hadn’t fanned over five batters before last night’s marvel. What I’m trying to get at is Nuno isn’t anyone’s answer, I want to make sure your late night self is still capable of resisting temptation, which definitely includes putting on that late night Jon Snow costume.
Let’s see what every other SP did yesterday:
Jon Lester – 7.0 IP, 1 ER, 2 Hits, 1 BBs, 7 Ks. That’s the lester we wanted creeping around our doorstep.
Garrett Richards – 7.2 IP, 2 ER, 4 Hits, 3 BBs, 11 Ks. Kjhwufwafubwaeufb. Yeah, that’s how I feel about Richards. He’s essentially a Cherry Bomb as well now as he can simply dominate a game after allowing five walks in six innings the game before. Next year I’ll be avoiding him and I’ll be down on him more than most and that’s fine. He just seems like such a headache where even if he does well you’re upset. Quit being a Richard.
J.A. Happ – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 3 Hits, 0 BBs, 10 Ks. Last time we talked about Happ’s ridiculous LOB rate and BABIP, but now he’s had at least 8 Ks in tow straight starts after not doing the feat since May 9th. Sure, his BABIP is going to increase a bit and his ERA will in all likelihood not be as pretty come October, but if he’s striking out guys like this you best be rolling with J.A.
Tom Koehler – 8.0 IP, 2 ER, 4 Hits, 2 BBs, 10 Ks. Because I didn’t get to use my J.A. line for two straight weeks…That Happened. I mean, who are we kidding here Koehler?
Stephen Strasburg – 7.1 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 13 Ks. Home runs are still Strasburg’s biggest issue, but his Curveball was as deadly as it’s ever been. Hard not like to like the In-and-Out Burger moving forward. Is that his new nickname? You better believe it.
Julio Teheran – 7.0 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 2 BBs, 4 Ks. In his last six starts, Teheran has allowed exactly 1 ER four times. You may be thinking that this is the time to jump on board, but each individual start he held an xFIP above 3.75 (outside of one which was 3.26), and there really isn’t much else to be happy about. Don’t get suckered in.
Jacob deGrom – 7.0 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 2 BBs, 9 Ks. Aces gonna ace.
Jake Odorizzi – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 6 Hits, 1 BBs, 6 Ks. Odorizzi looked good despite giving up some HRs last time out in the Bronx, and I can’t say I’m shocked to see him perform well last night night.
Ubaldo Jimenez – 7.0 IP, 3 ER, 4 Hits, 0 BBs, 8 Ks. Don’t be tempted with Ubaldo. Just don’t.
Zack Godley – 5.0 IP, 1 ER, 3 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. If you’re hurting for one more guy, I wouldn’t ignore Godley. He has a low floor – 6 ER in 3.2 IP last time out – but he can do starts like this.
Kris Medlen – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 3 Hits, 2 BBs, 2 Ks. There’s that floor we expect Medlen to have. He’s a Toby alright- not too exciting but goes to work every day and gets the job done.
Joe Kelly – 5.2 IP, 1 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. I know, I know, he’s still finding a way to give you a low ERA – seven straight starts of 2 or fewer ER – but you guys gotta trust me here. He’s gonna blow up in your face before the end of the season. There’s nothing under the hood in his favor.
Mike Pelfrey – 5.1 IP, 1 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 1 Ks. Don’t care Pelfrey. Just don’t care.
Josh Tomlin – 5.2 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 0 BBs, 6 Ks. Our Call Boy did a solid job, just one ER too many for us to be totally ecstatic. Tomlin is as good as they come off your wire right now, though I did talk about some of his luck last time out. There is a question if he keeps his job since he’s currently in Kluber’s spot, but you have to imagine Cody Anderson gets the boot before him.
Ariel Pena – 5.0 IP, 2 ER, 3 Hits, 4 BBs, 4 Ks. He may be in the rotation for a moment, but he has little to no fantasy value. This makes Pena your standard Cup of Schmo.
CC Sabathia – 4.2 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 3 BBs, 5 Ks. Will we get to see a CC start we actually enjoy at some point? Probs not.
Chris Heston – 4.2 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. Heston had a lot more promise near the all-star break when his FIP/xFIP was chilling around 3.50 and lower. Now it’s hinting at 4.00 and I’m not so thrilled anymore.
Joe Wieland – 4.0 IP, 2 ER, 4 Hits, 1 BBs, 2 Ks. A minor leaguer who’s destined for the pen but was called upon for a spot start? Yep, that’s a Cup of schmo alright.
Jeff Samardzija – 6.2 IP, 4 ER, 8 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. Loose Lips is still sinking ships. DON’T GO IN THE WATER!
Carlos Martinez – 5.0 IP, 3 ER, 10 Hits, 1 BBs, 8 Ks. CMart had a rough first inning allowing three 2-out hits in a row, then Lester, yes that Lester, scored after a 1-out single. Martinez cruised after that and you have to think it just didn’t go his way as opposed to not having his dominant stuff. It happens.
James Shields – 6.0 IP, 4 ER, 8 Hits, 4 BBs, 6 Ks. Go away Shields, people stopped trusting you like 3 months ago.
Kyle Lobstein – 5.2 IP, 5 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 6 Ks. The Blobstein has done little to make him earn a classier nickname.
Collin McHugh – 5.1 IP, 5 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. Awwww I was really hoping McHugh was going to be on a high road for the rest of the year. He actually was in this game until the 5th inning where he allowed a pair of HRs and an RBI single. He had allowed only 1 hit and 2 BBs until that point :-/
Keyvius Sampson – 5.1 IP, 5 ER, 5 Hits, 3 BBs, 4 Ks. I have a feeling Keyvius is bald. Never seen a photo of him, but that’s my guess. Are you baldist? What?? No! Don’t make such wild accusations! You smart people know why I think that.
Martin Perez – 5.0 IP, 5 ER, 7 Hits, 3 BBs, 4 Ks. Still don’t really know what people saw in him to think he was a sneaky add. More like Sneaky bad, amirite? …Sorry for that one.
Aaron Brooks – 4.0 IP, 5 ER, 8 Hits, 1 BBs, 2 Ks. Yeah, I learned my lesson after last week and I hope you guys did too.
Chris Rusin – 3.0 IP, 6 ER, 8 Hits, 1 BBs, 1 Ks. Rusin has limited upside, pitches his home games at Coors Field, and doesn’t deserve a spot on your team. This should be the blurb for every Colorado starter. Well, Gray has some value outside of Coors.
David Buchanan – 3.1 IP, 4 ER, 10 Hits, 3 BBs, 0 Ks. No strikeouts and 10 hits in 10 outs? Yep, that’s Buchanan.
Drew Hutchison – 3.1 IP, 6 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 3 Ks. I know there are some out there still holding onto Hutchison like he’s your Curious George stuffed animal, but you gotta give him the ole Harry and the Hendersons. CAN’T YOU SEE WE DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE?!?!
Erik Johnson vs. Minnesota Twins – Tough decision here, but given that the Twins are a patient team with no Sano and how Johnson was pounding the zone, I think Erik can skate on by for a serviceable start.