So instead of giving the normal blurb with a fantasy lens – like I need to give you advice about Clayton Kershaw, who went – 7.0 IP, 1 ER, 6 Hits, 0 BBs, 8 Ks because Kersh gonna Kersh – I feel the need to talk about Clayton from a pitching nut’s perspective. This guy is having a better season than his MVP year and it seems as though everyone is numb by his success to properly appreciate one of the greatest pitchers EVER debilitating teams so consistently on the field. It’s seriously unbelievable. We’ve seen people dominate, but not like this for so dang long. Do yourself a favor and really watch him pitch for one game this season. Sit down, know what his pitches are, how they move, what speeds they come in at, and how he sets up batters. I’d even do a live stream if you guys wanted, that sounds like a ton of fun to do with a bunch of you guys now that I think about it. Huh. Maybe I should make that a thing… But whatever, make sure you get it done.
Let’s see what every other SP did yesterday:
Steven Wright – 9.0 IP, 0 ER, 5 Hits, 3 BBs, 6 Ks. The Wright stuff. What about his stuff? It’s pretty straightforward, since it’s a pretty much just a knuckleball. Wouldn’t that make it the opposite of straightforward? Oh, because it moves ‘n stuff. I’m really on my game tonight. Anyway, y’all know I don’t like knucklers, but Wright was raised to the 20s today just because he really hasn’t slowed down all season and there isn’t much of an indication that his knuckler is getting worse. It’s weird with those super duper amount of walks and the idea that one day can be a “welp, it’s gone” kind of deal like Henry Rowengartner slipping on a baseball. Don’t trade for him, but don’t you dare let him go as you won’t be getting a proper return, most likely. You bought him for nada and you best squeeze every dang bit of value out of him before he’s off yer squad.
Madison Bumgarner – 8.0 IP, 1 ER, 5 Hits, 2 BBs, 8 Ks. Aces gonna ace. Really tough not to love the 26-year-old. Jeez, is he really that young?!
Jeff Locke – 6.2 IP, 0 ER, 5 Hits, 0 BBs, 3 Ks. I guess this is one Locke that wasn’t cracked open, am I right? So, just this one Locke? Not anymore Lockes in the future? Exactly, this is the master Locke of them all. So sorry for that pun. So sorry.
Miguel Gonzalez – 6.2 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. This is after a 7 ER start, so Miguel…no.
Doug Fister – 7.0 IP, 2 ER, 4 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. Look at Fister go, with a sub 1.00 WHIP, a sub 3.00 ERA, and even five strikeouts! I could fist you for that! Welcome to my childhood…which I realize sounds really wrong if you don’t click the link. Please click the link and watch the 2 second clip that should start at 2:34. Please.
Shelby Miller – 6.2 IP, 1 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. Our Call Boy did his job as I went against my standard conventions. There are always exceptions. It’s a decent motto to live by, dunno why I feel the need to drop that now, but here we are. Anyway, I don’t like Miller all too much the rest of the way, and you best get rid of him for his next start in Coors.
Jeremy Hellickson – 7.0 IP, 3 ER, 6 Hits, 0 BBs, 6 Ks. Oh lord, now that I have sworn off the Devil, he comes chasing me again as his Changeup looks oh-so-tantalizing. Please give me the strength to fight his temptations!
Jaime Garcia – 6.2 IP, 2 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 6 Ks. Good Jaime, now I need three more of these and we cool.
Josh Tomlin – 7.0 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 0 BBs, 3 Ks. When you walk under one batter per start (he’s getting close to one batter per two starts at this point), that WHIP is going to be super low. Too bad his K upside is dwindling, though, and it may force me to lower him into the 70s or beyond next week.
Yusmeiro Petit – 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. Petit? What are you doing here?! Strasburg got scratched right before his start with back pain. So, you’re like the John Tyler of today’s starters? I’m sure not riding this one for another term.
Jorge De La Rosa – 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 2 BBs, 3 Ks. De La Rosa has limited upside, pitches his home games at Coors Field, and doesn’t deserve a spot on your team. This should be the blurb for every Colorado starter not named Gray and maybe even Gray.
Drew Smyly – 7.0 IP, 4 ER, 8 Hits, 0 BBs, 5 Ks. Here’s the good news: Smyly has seriously upped his Curveball count in this start and last. Bad news: After getting a huge amount whiffs last time out (21%+), he got under 10% in this outing, with a vertical movement separation of 1.50 inches. I actually don’t know that number exactly – the early Brooks Baseball data seems to be two inches overall off from last week’s tweaked numbers, which would read 3.50 inches but that’s just plain nuts – though that differential in movement says a lot about where Smyly is right now. I’d be selling.
John Lackey – 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 7 Hits, 3 BBs, 6 Ks. It’s weird seeing Lackey stumble at all these days, and this is only the fourth start all season where he’s allowed more than 2 ER. Welp, it happens.
Paul Clemens – 5.0 IP, 3 ER, 7 Hits, 3 BBs, 2 Ks. What if I told you that this was Rodger’s son? You’d be lying to us, then. Right you are! The schticky on Clemens is that he kinda has some K upside, but the control won’t be there and you don’t want to be dealing with this. One Cup of Schmo, please.
Kevin Gausman – 5.0 IP, 4 ER, 9 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. Gausman really been in a rut lately. I blame his last two starts for facing the Jays and Sawx, but the Rangers should be a small respite yet he isn’t where he should be. Feel free to take a break on him, and I can definitely see him stringing together a solid few weeks down the road.
Nathan Karns – 5.0 IP, 5 ER, 7 Hits, 3 BBs, 6 Ks. Karns had to face the Tigers, which was an easy call for Karns owners to bench. Remember, he’s a streamer against everyone outside the Top 10 offenses.
Derek Holland – 4.1 IP, 3 ER, 9 Hits, 2 BBs, 4 Ks. The Dutch Invasion never stops. War never stops. Well, until you throw down a card that’s different from your opponent’s. Yeah but that’s not nearly as catchy.
Mike Pelfrey – 5.0 IP, 6 ER, 12 Hits, 1 BBs, 3 Ks. Anyone else amused by the fact that Pelfrey has “Frey” in his name? No wonder he stabs you in the heart each time he pitches.
Jhoulys Chacin – 2.0 IP, 5 ER, 6 Hits, 5 BBs, 1 Ks. And this is why we never start him. Chacin. Not even once.
Jimmy Nelson vs. Oakland Athletics – Can’t say I’m the biggest fan of Nelson, but it’s the A’s. Also considered Tyler Duffey against the Phils, but he struggled his last two times out, including his recent 4 ER effort against the Angels and that makes me a little afraid.
Junior Guerra vs. Oakland Atheltics – Assuming CC is gone in your league, it’s not a bad idea to abuse an A’s team that let both Tim Lincecum and Jered Weaver trounce them. Likewise, if you need another option there is Guerra’s opponent Daniel Mengden who could feel out a good outing against the weak Brew Crew.
Day After Tomorrow’s Streamer
Jerad Eickhoff vs. Minnesota Twins – He’s owned in under 25% of leagues, and it may be the last time you can sneak him onto your roster for free. Meanwhile, I can understand taking either pitcher in the Reds/Padres matchups in deeper leagues (John Lamb & Christian Friedrich), and in dire situations, you could do worse than John Gant against the Mets. The Mets are just that bad.