Addicted To The Novacaine

You know who really grinds my gears? Former Yankee Ivan Nova who simply won’t stop being boring yet producing after going 8.0 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 0 BBs, 3 Ks (a CG since the Pirates lost on the road), now making his entire stay in Pittsburgh add up to a 2.80 ERA with just three walks to his name across 84.2 innings and 14 starts. I totally get anyone wanting me to list him as Top 50. Why not, that ERA is pretty great for close to 100 innings! Yeah, notice how I didn’t mention his 6.38 K/9 over that time or the 33.2% hard contact allowed prior to this outing. Obviously keep rolling with him, but don’t go paying dolla dolla for him on the trade market. This is your standard sell high procedure and don’t second guess it. Nova isn’t this year’s Kyle Hendricks.

Let’s see how every other SP did yesterday:

A.J. Griffin – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hits, 1 BBs, 8 Ks. Oh lord, I’m not wasting time on this one. Blame it on the Athletics.

Lance Lynn – 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 3 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. Didn’t I have a term last year for when I docked a pitcher in The List and they instantly performed better afterwards? Whatever, I docked Lynn a little since I find his ceiling to be a little lower than other guys around him, while not expressing the same kind of floor I wanted. But of course then he dominates the Pirates and makes me look foolish. Well, I wonder if he can keep it up against the Brewers. I’ve heard they’ve been pretty good…

John Lackey – 6.0 IP, 4 ER, 7 Hits, 1 BBs, 2 Ks. I was tempted to lead with Lackey just so I could call it ShelLacked but that would have been silly. Like nothing else I do here is silly. Anyway, obviously Lackey with have these bumps in the road – he’s ranked in the late 30s not Top 20 after all – but I wouldn’t do anything silly. Just keep starting him and all will be well. Also, the Brewers are now tied for second in slugging percentage and 8th in Runs. Just sayin’.

Ariel Miranda – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 3 Hits, 0 BBs, 4 Ks. Max Eddy made a good point today looking at this line, citing that the Marlins had to make the longest flight in the majors to play in Seattle and didn’t get a day off. Makes you think. Well, not that much since Miranda is not a solid option for the long haul, but it’s curious. Very curious…

Robbie Ray – 6.0 IP, 1 ER, 3 Hits, 4 BBs, 10 Ks. Ohhh snap. Those Ks are so alive and it hurts. And his ERA is 1.96 now. And BB/9 right around 6.00. I know you want to love this. I totally get that and if you wanna roll with him through the year, go ahead. If he can keep this up and somehow prevent hits to make his WHIP not so terrible with that walk rate, then you’ll obviously see him rise in The List. I don’t have his batted ball in front of me for this start, but I can tell you that he had a whopping 51.7% hard contact in his first two starts…with a .214 BABIP. Sooooo take this with some grain of salt, yeah?

Danny Salazar – 6.0 IP, 1 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 7 Ks. Thatta boy Salazar…I guess. I want to love Salazar but the injury risk mixed with a consistently bad WHIP makes me roll more eyes than my father telling jokes at a party.

Charlie Morton – 5.0 IP, 0 ER, 5 Hits, 2 BBs, 3 Ks. Our main Call Boy did his job and get us shutout baseball for five innings. Sure, the Ks aren’t much at all but this is completely a win. Streaming Record: 5.5-4-2

Jesse Chavez – 7.0 IP, 2 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. Chavez is handing me the bill right now. One Night Bland – $50. That’s a steal.

Jaime Garcia – 6.1 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 3 BBs, 4 Ks. This is as bleghy as it gets. Thanks Garcia for making me feel disgusting.

Brandon McCarthy – 5.0 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 3 BBs, 8 Ks. Sure, those Ks are tasty and if you ran with McCarthy for his two starts, this is looking like a genius move thus far. I really wouldn’t go investing in him a ton now, though. He can do this one day then have a 5 ER clunker the next.

Jered Weaver – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 7 Hits, 0 BBs, 3 Ks. I’ve started tallying how many days Weaver doesn’t have arguably the worst start of the day. Weaver 3 – MLB 0. This won’t be fun if you don’t start being bad again. Please Weaver, DO IT FOR US.

Steven Wright – 6.0 IP, 1 ER, 9 Hits, 1 BBs, 4 Ks. Now, you swear that this microwave will heat up Pop-Tarts in under three seconds? No question Nick, it’s a steal for $30. Yeah, Wright. Don’t trust a knuckleballer.

Jordan Montgomery – 6.0 IP, 3 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 4 Ks. I know the ERA/WHIP isn’t good, but it is a Quality Start…I think that’s the threshold for a tie, no? Streaming Record: 5.5-4-3

Chase Anderson – 5.0 IP, 2 ER, 7 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. Ehhhh I think this should quell a lot of the Anderson love, right? Please.

Blake Snell – 5.0 IP, 1 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. So Snell had the 2nd inning all wrapped up in four batters until Brad Miller felt like dropping the ball because he’s stupid. Then the next four batters reached, tallying up Snell’s pitch count for the day. Look, I don’t like Snell as much as many other upside guys around, but the kid looked better today, especially against a great Red Sox lineup. He’s starting to figure it out…

Kyle Gibson – 5.1 IP, 3 ER, 8 Hits, 2 BBs, 2 Ks. Ha, Gibson get out of here.

Jharel Cotton – 5.1 IP, 5 ER, 5 Hits, 4 BBs, 3 Ks. Cotton was getting Voighted all night (Alex Fast suggested this for Jon Voight getting squeezed to death in Anaconda. We’ll see if this sticks) and it came around to nail him for a four run fifth inning. Texas is also a really good team n stuff, but this is a bit disappointing. I’m sticking with Cotton here long term.

Tom Koehler – 4.0 IP, 5 ER, 7 Hits, 3 BBs, 5 Ks. Yep, that’s Koheler alright. Tom wasn’t able to convince anyone to pitch for him this time around. Imagine his emotions when he stood there realizing he had to paint the corner all by himself.

Derek Holland – 4.2 IP, 6 ER, 10 Hits, 1 BBs, 4 Ks. The Dutch Invasion has finally arrived! Why do you sound excited? Well, there’s something to be said about players performing how they should. Holland isn’t as good as his 1.50 ERA would have lead you to believe and it’s like all is right in the universe now. I’m still waiting for Dan Straily to not have an above average 2016, but you can’t have everything.

Today’s Streamer

Luis Severino vs. Chicago White Sox – There are actually a decent amount of options this week – Shelby Miller against the Padres is my favorite for deeper leagues – but Sevy seems like the best upside play considering his strikeout explosion against the Rays and the ChiSox being terrible.

Joe Musgrove vs. Los Angeles Angels – Pushed back one day from Monday, and I’m still loving this outing for Musgrove and while he hasn’t been the polished self I hoped for thus far, a start against the Angels can calibrate him quickly.

Tomorrow’s Streamer

Robert Gsellman vs. Philadelphia Phillies – I’m rolling the dice here, but I think Gsellman’s stuff is too good to keep faltering. Now he gets a team not named the Marlins and I think he’ll do well. Certainly doesn’t deserve the sub 15% ownage rate right now.

Day After Tomorrow’s Streamer

Daniel Norris vs. Tampa Bay Rays – He’s still out there for some silly reason (Just 12% owned!) and you best take advantage of that.

Game of the Day

Zack Wheeler vs. Philadelphia Phillies – He gets the Phils again and I want to see him take another step forward. Show me confidence in breaking pitches and fewer bad misses overall. YOU CAN DO THIS WHEELER.